In some industries, over-functioning is almost built into the culture. I often ask clients, “If you’re putting in an extra three, four, or five hours every day, what energy do you have left for yourself?” Because that energy matters, it’s what allows you to nourish yourself, get good rest, spend time with loved ones, and simply feel human again. When so much of your energy is poured into work, something else in your life inevitably gets depleted.

That depletion, or “under-functioning,” can look different for everyone. For some, it might show up as emotional eating, overspending, or using alcohol to unwind — whatever small ways you’ve found to cope with exhaustion and overwhelm. These patterns aren’t about weakness; they’re often signs that your body and mind are trying to make up for the energy deficit in the only ways they know how.

Burnout also tends to come with a lot of comparison. It’s easy to look around and feel like everyone else has it together, like they’re somehow able to compartmentalize better, to stay composed when you can’t. But we rarely see the full story. Especially if you’re a woman, a young woman, or a BIPOC woman, you may be comparing yourself to people whose paths have been supported by privileges or systems you haven’t had access to. This isn’t about making excuses; it’s about acknowledging that context matters and that your experience is valid.

Many clients come to me at the point when burnout has taken hold, and they’re feeling a deep fear of failure, shame, or imposter syndrome. They describe feeling like everyone else is managing but them. Their nervous system is on overdrive, and they can’t seem to regulate themselves anymore.

A healthier way forward begins with awareness: understanding what’s happening in your body, setting boundaries that protect your energy, and rebuilding a sense of agency in your life. As you start to identify what you truly need and put supportive structures in place, it becomes possible to move toward balance, steadiness and self-compassion — one step at a time.

If you’re thinking about a short-term leave, the first step is a conversation with your doctor about your mental health struggles. Your doctor is part of your support circle. Clients are often fearful that their doctor won’t fully understand what they’ve been experiencing. That is so, so normal when you’ve been trying to push through burnout. In my anecdotal experience, when your doctor knows you’re in therapy and implementing support, they’re eager to help you take positive steps towards self-care and better health.