Olethea Pimenta • September 24, 2026
You worked hard for the promotion, new job, home, relationship or opportunity you have now. You expected to feel proud when it finally happened.
Instead, the achievement feels strangely empty.
Your first thought may be that you want to call your mom. Then you remember that you cannot. A moment that was supposed to feel joyful becomes another encounter with what you lost.
For many of the women I work with who lost their moms young, success does not remove the loss. It can make the absence of their biggest supporter even more visible.
Your mom may have been the person who believed in your potential before anyone else saw it. She may have listened to every detail, reassured you when you doubted yourself and celebrated your success without making you smaller.
When something good happens, you are not only missing the chance to tell her. You are missing the way she would have responded.
Other people may congratulate you, but their excitement does not reach the same place. You may feel guilty that their care is not enough or confused that you cannot enjoy what you worked so hard to create.
The achievement is real. So is the absence beside it.
Promotions are not the only milestones that can bring the loss back.
Getting engaged, planning a wedding, buying a home, becoming a parent or making a difficult career decision can all remind you of the future you expected to share with your mom.
The sadness does not mean you are ungrateful or incapable of happiness. But missing your mom in that moment is also real. Both experiences belong in the moment.
If your mom was closely connected to your confidence and ambition, moving forward without her can feel disloyal, frightening or pointless.
You may wonder who you are succeeding for now. You may stop pursuing things you once wanted because reaching them without her feels too painful. Or you may become relentlessly productive, hoping the next achievement will finally make you feel like yourself again.
Neither response means there is something wrong with you. You may be trying to build a future without the person who helped you imagine it.
I work with women who lost their moms young and are trying to reconnect with their ambition, joy and sense of direction.
Therapy can help you make room for the sadness inside meaningful milestones without allowing it to erase everything you have created. We can also explore what you want now—not only what you were expected to achieve or what would have made your mom proud.
Moving forward does not require success to compensate for the loss. It means learning how to let your accomplishments belong to you while continuing to carry your mom’s importance in your life.
Continue Reading: How Can Losing Your Mom Young Affect Your Relationships?
Olethea Pimenta is a Registered Psychotherapist who works with women who lost their moms young.
She brings both lived experience and clinical expertise to help you untangle the patterns that have been holding you back—and guide you back to your own power.
