Olethea Pimenta • September 10, 2026
Losing your mom young can be an incredibly lonely experience.
Other people may have loved her. They may have been devastated when she died. But even the people closest to you may not understand what it is like to keep building your life without your mom in it.
You may feel this most strongly with your dad or siblings. They lost someone important too, but they did not lose the same relationship or the same future that you did.
Your dad may eventually build a life with someone new. You can be genuinely happy for him and still feel the permanence of your own loss. He may have companionship again, but you are not going to get another mom.
Even within the same family, each person is living with a different absence. They may not understand why your grief is still so present because they are not moving through the same life without her.
Well-meaning friends may tell you that their mom can be like your mom. You may appreciate the intention, but it is not the same.
Someone else’s mom does not share your history. She did not know the earlier versions of you, help shape who you became or occupy the place you expected your mom to have throughout your life.
You are not simply missing someone who can offer advice or care. You are missing your particular mom.
The loss can become present again as your life changes.
You may feel it when you build a career, choose a partner, get married, become a parent or experience something you would have called her about. Each new chapter can reveal another way in which your mom is missing.
This does not mean you have failed to move forward. It means you are continuing to encounter the loss in a life that is still unfolding.
Sometimes you do not need the loss to be made smaller. You need someone to understand how large it is.
You do not have to choose between missing your mom and creating a meaningful future.
I work with women who lost their moms young and are trying to build their lives around an absence that other people may not fully understand. Therapy gives us room for the sadness and anger that remain while we also work on the relationships, dreams and experiences you still want.
Moving forward does not require you to replace your mom or leave her behind. It means learning how to hold what cannot be replaced while keeping hope for what is still possible.
